Small child: Mum, whatever happened to Uncle Terry, the policeman?
Mother: Hush child, you know we don’t speak of that.
Small child: But Mum, I miss his funny moustache and blue hat.
Mother: Enough now. Go and colour in...
Small Child: Mum how come he hasn’t come over in forever and why is Aunty Mertle always crying?
Small Child: Mum why are you quiet? Why do you look like Aunty Mertle does when someone asks about milk?
Small child: Mum?....Mum….Mu-uhmmmmmmm
Mother: BECAUSE UNCLE TERRY WENT OUT FOR A BOTTLE OF MILK ONE DAY AND HASN’T BEEN SEEN SINCE AND YOUR AUNT MERTLE IS VERY SAD OK?! NOW SHUT UP AND COLOUR IN THE FUCKING BOOK!
Small child: *blinks* I wonder if elephants can wear pants?
I pretty much wear all of my weird on my sleeve for the world to see and am damned proud to have friends around me who not only accept this weird but complement it so well; kind of like how gasoline complements fire or how sudden shocks complement a heart condition.
With all of that said, knowing me or being a friend of mine will eventually mean that you become privy (whether you want to be or not) to the random thoughts I’m having like “Do you think sexual misadventure is covered under a life insurance policy?” or “Does blue have a taste?” and “Do you think the size of someone’s nostrils is directly proportionate to the size of their lungs?”. I have questions and those questions need answers people.
I like to know things. So when I send you shit like this because I’m having a bath and have just finished Hubert’s naming ceremony…
And all I receive back by way of response is:
Charlie: *has heart attack* That was incredible
Charlie: This is why we’re friends
It makes me happy to know that I’ve got friends who get me.
So if you find other people who are just as bat-shit as you, or at the very least understand that your strange and their strange is complementary, then keep them. Collect them like the colourful and mental butterflies that they are. Catch them in a giant net made of candy and caviar and lobsters, and also probably some net, and keep them. Don’t keep them in jars though, that’s less good, unless there are lots of air holes and a little twig for them to stand on and some grass so it feels a bit homier and some water for when they’re thirsty, then that should be totally fine, but most importantly make them friends for life! Because life is exactly what we’d all get if we didn’t have our crazy friends around.