Wednesday 13 March 2013

Scumbag Facey


So apparently I’m a total scumbag…at least tired me is anyway. Well ok, more than usual I mean. Ok fine, tired me is, on average, a bigger scumbag than the waking and functional Facey and likes to fuck with her own head because she’s clearly not right.

There…better?

Well probably not better but at least more accurate, because that’s what we’re all about here, accuracy…

o.O

Anyhow.

Last night I got home later than I usually would after celebrating a friend’s birthday with Brinner. Yes, breakfast for dinner, it was glorious. Upon my return home I was pretty much doing the zombie shuffle around the house getting ready for bed on autopilot, or so I thought. What I was actually doing was setting up all of the items on my bedside table that have any form of writing on them, to be upside down. Books, pens, packets and phones ALL set up so that when I woke up this morning and looked at the table my first and immediate thought was “OH MY GOD I’VE FORGOTTEN HOW TO READ!!”. Knowing very well I'd then proceeded to pick up the closest book, which was still upside down, to try and prove to myself that this wasn’t the case at all and also knowing all too well that the book would still be upside down and this would result in me freaking out entirely until I was fully awake and realised that I’m not completely illiterate just incredibly stupid.

I’m an arsehole.

So there that is. Now you all know. I’m part sadistic arsehole; part special needs person who really shouldn’t be allowed out of the padded room without suitable head protection because I’m too trusting and easily fooled.

This post wasn’t really written with the intention of providing a Lol-a-palooza; it was more just a “this is what you get” thing.

Perhaps it was more a warning.

Definitely a warning.

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